Parental Partnership in Ministry

Would you agree with the following statement: “Effective parents are involved parents”? Many youth ministries seem to be declining in attendance. I know one minister who is stepping away because the only kids involved are the ones whose parents are active within that ministry. The challenge we face is how to encourage parents to become more active in their students’ spiritual growth. 

This was the question I recently posed to a few friends who are active in ministry. If you don’t mind, allow me to share one comment that was made: 

I do agree with the statement. We have similar issues. Weirdly, the most faithful youth members we have are teens whose parents are very involved in church, and those whose parents don’t come at all. The ones who drift in and out and never seem to decide for Christ are the ones whose parents attend Sunday mornings but are otherwise uninvolved. I have had little success with getting those parents more involved or enlisting their help in getting their kids more involved. People seem very defensive and resistant to anything they see as a critique of their parenting. 

As we all know, parents are the primary spiritual teachers in the lives of their children. This is by God’s design. Consider the principles communicated in Deuteronomy 6:4-7: 

Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one. You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise (ESV used throughout). 

Are we as a church failing to meet this standard? Have we pushed our God-given responsibility onto someone else for personal convenience? Allow me to share with you why these principles are so important for us today. 

It is our God-given responsibility to lead our children. 

Although there are certainly exceptions, almost all of us have children. This is a huge responsibility. We are expected to care for our kids and ensure they have everything they need. This also includes instruction, discipline, and teaching. Failing to meet these needs often brings harm to the child in one way or another. 

I understand that we get so caught up with the physical needs that we allow, even by accident, the spiritual matters to fade into the background. God has always intended that spiritual matters be taught regardless of the situation affecting the family dynamic. 

As a youth minister, it is my goal to partner with the parents in helping their kids in spiritual matters. It is never my intention to replace the parents. Parents ought to be involved in their kids’ spiritual foundation. Parents who are active within the ministry see what the students are learning, notice how the students are growing, and fulfill the God-given responsibility to be the students’ primary spiritual leader. 

It gives them a healthy example. 

When parents see youth ministry as a partnership instead of a replacement, great things can happen. Parents become more involved and end up setting a great example to their kids, an example that highlights the importance of connecting, teaching, and discipleship. Within the framework of such a partnership, students are given a chance to watch and learn from parents who actively live out their faith in Christ. This doesn’t just help the ministry but also the overall health of the church. 

When kids “age out” of the ministry, they have already made great connections with others and become more willing to serve in meaningful ways because of the examples that they have watched. Without such a culture, kids often get lost in the shuffle of ministry. 

It allows you to have more opportunities to grow and serve together. 

With more help comes more opportunities and more creative ideas. The youth minister might be able to come up with some cool things to do, but parents make the difference. This is especially true when parents partner with the minister in creative ways—more can be done, the workload is lessened, and more students make connections that last. 

There have been plenty of times when I thought I had a good idea, only to discover one of the parents had a better idea. These ideas help the group as a whole grow closer together while strengthening the faith of all involved. 

I can’t encourage the parents enough to simply get involved in the youth ministry at your congregation. We all know the problems that can develop when we drop the ball. I pray you are encouraged and reminded of the great things that can happen in the church and for your youth when we step up, out of our comfort zone, and onto the battleground. The students at our churches deserve the best we can give them. How can we expect them to give their best when we neglect to do it ourselves? 

Here are some action steps for the parents who want to make a difference. 

Pray. Pray for the students, the leadership, and the helpers. Prayer always has been and always will be a powerful tool for the Christian. 

Talk. Talk with the person who oversees the youth ministry. See if there is a place where you can serve, and when that happens, serve with a smile. 

Connect. Meet other parents who have students in your youth group and build a relationship with them. Remember, ministry is more than the walls you meet in. 

Celebrate. Celebrate that so many of our youth are being raised in faithful Christian homes and learning the glories of the Christian faith.