Understanding Where You Are

I have a dear friend who preached in a congregation just down the road from where I ministered. Mark Atteberry was the Lead Minister of the Poinciana Christian Church for many years and did an outstanding job. He is also a very accomplished author.

Mark is also a fellow instructor at Advance Center for Ministry Training. Even though retired, he still preaches most weekends at Frostproof Christian Church, and they love him. Who wouldn’t? Mark is one of those preachers who just loves people, and it shows.

A few years ago, he gave me one of his books entitled Walking with God on the Road You Never Wanted to Travel. The book deals with the many “wilderness moments” we will experience in life. Much like the Old Testament nation of Israel, life often navigates us through a “Wilderness Period” first.

In the first chapter of Walking with God, Mark challenges his readers to reflect on just how they ended up in their own personal wilderness. Solomon writes in Proverbs 14:33, “Wisdom rests in the heart of him who has understanding” (NKJV). In other words, if you don’t evaluate your life choices, you may never truly be able to explain how you ended up where you are in life, especially how you ended up in the “wilderness” to begin with.

There are benefits from pausing to take stock in how we ended up where we are. First, contemplating your life choices could point you toward the way of escape. That’s right—your dilemma may provide your “get out of jail card.” Attebery writes:[ji1] 

“Problems and solutions are often found at opposite ends of the same road. When you study the history of Israel, you cannot help but see a very destructive pattern developing in their life journey. For instance, it would seem they were always blaming God for what would seem like everything. They complained about their diet; the fact they had to assemble and disassemble their tents along with the transportable Tabernacle. Yet, they could have shaved off forty years of that monotony had they taken possession of Caanan when God told them too.”

There is an interesting quote floating around and it goes like this, “One of the annoying things about believing in free will and personal responsibility is the difficulty of finding someone to blame your problems on. And when you do find somebody, it’s remarkable how often his picture turns up on your driver’s license.”[ji2]  Sometimes we just need to own up that we are responsible for our wilderness experience. As Solomon says in Proverbs 28:13, “He who covers his sins will not prosper, but whoever confesses and forsakes them will have mercy” (NKJV).

Next, if you can’t find fault with God for your “wilderness wondering,” then find somebody else to shift the blame too. In his book, Mark relates a story of a very overweight man who filed a lawsuit against McDonald’s, Wendy’s, Burger King, and Kentucky Fried Chicken, alleging that their food made him fat. Now we know how ludicrous that lawsuit is; in fact, our nation has become a people who want to blame everything and everybody for their poor choices. One reason we see all these frivolous lawsuits tying up our courts today illustrates the point I am trying to make: as long as there is someone else to blame for our poor choices, then we can always postpone the much-needed self-evaluation and corrective behavior necessary for healthy change to occur.

When I think back on all the folks I counseled in ministry, one of the hardest challenges for me was trying to convince the wounded child of God to stop transferring all the blame and criticism onto others. Instead, to help them objectively look at their life and realize they have often been their own worst enemy. Constructive change comes when we realize most of the problems we face are self-inflicted. The good news, though, is even if we have taken millions of steps in the wrong direction, the road to recovery and repentance is only one step away in the right direction.

Finally, maybe, just maybe, no one is to blame for your wilderness experience. I spent most of my life in Central Florida. I grew up and graduated from high school just outside Orlando, then attended and graduated from Florida Chrisitan College located in Kissimmee, Florida, also near Orlando. All my ministries were in Central Florida—a great community for sure. One of the downsides to living in Florida, aside from the excessive heat and traffic, is, of course, deadly hurricanes. You would think with all that devastation, humanity would and could place the blame on someone. Of course, the immediate go to these days is climate change. Reflecting on your personal circumstances, is it possible that no one is to blame for your crisis? Is it conceivable that no one is at fault? Just like hurricanes in Florida and wildfires in California, it’s the price of doing business in these places.

Remember when Jesus came upon a man who was born blind in John 9. Immediately, His disciples assumed his life circumstance had something to do with a fault of his or his family. Jesus responded with these gripping words, “Neither this man nor his parents sinned, but that the works of God should be revealed in him” (NKJV). Thinking about your own situation, is it possible God permitted you walk in the wilderness and that it has nothing to do with sin but is occurring so God could be glorified? Instead of asking why, ask how. How can I promote Jesus in my life through my experience?

My good friend Mark Attebery closes out the first chapter with this thought-provoking comment:

“You may need to repent or at least reform some aspect of your behavior to keep from compounding your troubles. You may need to forgive someone who mistreated you. Or you may need to apologize to God for casting blame in His direction and accept that only one is to blame. Any one of these steps will give you the closure you need and set you in the proper frame of mind to move forward.”

Haven’t you spent enough time in the wilderness? The Promised Land awaits you—go now!